here i am. back at the blog. i come with message: i have had things happen to me, have been away from islands, form mountains, form birds and sailboats and happy things. yes i put form instead of from. i am imperfect. i am secretly glad no one knows what goes on my mind. i prefer not thinking things through sometimes so i can enjoy the thought that everyhting is perfectly fine. if you examine any one thing, even the concept of perfection, that one thing is so riddled with flaws, with problems, with simple or difficult extrenalities, if you examine it thoroughly and in reference to every application of that thing. my escapade of Rianislands is imperfect because i have told to many people, it has become very detailed, now i need a less-tourist-infested trap of the mind. nothing doesn't work, too many people reccomend it. its like approaching money, realizing that billions of people would kill for the amount of money....it disgusts me. i read an appalling passage today for english, and i thought to myself, to quote the talking heads, that people could make the same criticism i made of it to whatever i write, that in people's heads they probably do, that most people think at one point or another....well, more than one point if they think about me for more than one passing glance: that i am awkward, nerdy, white, something distasteful, unpleseant, cracilicious. the bearditude of such phenomena is copesetic. burn in heaven, oh passionate critics! Leave me in pieces. And, now, so you learn something about me: that made me feel better. ask me what is wrong, and you wrong me. Say never mind, and you will never know. Don't try to read my mind. Just do what you know I want, not always just kissing, carressing, physical things, or attention. If you don't know what I want, that is something you should ask, preferably not in English. My mind is troubled right now, but don't help solve the problem, I must solve this one by myself...well there is one thing you could do Paulina. it would help if i talked to someone adult about it. bye!