Diary Entries from Freshman Year #2

3-22-10
Official Beginning
Hello, my name is Ryan and this is my journal. Well, an entry in one of the journals. I suppose I will start with yesterday, though the events of yesterday were of a general normality so as to seem fresh in my short term memory but quick to be replaced by different memories, whether the new memories hold more or less weight than yesterday's memories. Like an escalator having someone who weighs 110 pounds on one step and, one revolution later, holds a new person on the step. Unless of course the 110 pound person ran back up the escalator at a pace that allowed her to step on the same step for the next revolution. But even then, her weight would be different by a Wii-Fit-board measurable amount because she ran up the automated stair system.
The less-than-precise middle of my morning began with the conclusion of car-washing: car-drying. I picked out a medley of melodies with my essential rock classics CD and dad's essentially acoustic 6-string guitar. I take that back: I was playing on my guitar with the amp that is a sprinter.
I also began Metroid Prime 2, which is predictably better than the first and unpredictably less nauseating for me. Now that I'm thinking of it, I'll go play.
~
Oh, the glories of spring break. Need I say more?

Diary Entries from Freshman Year #1 continued

After she left, I thought about why I didn't ask if I could come meet her friends. Probably a stupid idea. But it seized me, and I felt I would feel regret later if I didn't did not ask. So, I called her, and, as my capability allowed, asked (hopefully cordially) if I could go to lunch with them (who? Corinne-plus-a-friend who I want to meet, possibly a second time?) She kindly said not this time, maybe another. Using the rejection clause as a way to foot my foot in the door, I said she should let me know when we could hang out. I have little hope that she will call me--this reason or last--but am happy that such dialogue and interaction occurred and is bound to happen again. Thus, though the classes near end, perhaps this friendship will be more everlasting.
~
Indeed, it was not. Facebook friends?

Diary Entries from Freshman Year #1

There's many of these, so it might take me awhile to get all these posted.
3/9/10
Corinne
After beginning by asking if she wanted me to put her quiz in her backpack and closing it for her, and her refusal for me to do either thing, I felt comfortable enough to continue talking to Corinne as she went to her bike. Looking Back, I see her refusal as an act of independence, not needing me, or any guy; and never dependent on anyone. In the moment I was conscious only that I was trying to be conscientious. Discussing grades, we reached her bike. She was commenting on her assurance that I would pull out with an A on both the final and the class. She is more likely to get the A, both according to me and probability, as she has had an A on both midterms. Anyway, at her bike, I guessed correctly that she was not going to work today. What tipped me off were her clothes, her leisurely pace, and relaxed demeanor. She said she was going to lunch (and she didn't word it exactly like this, but to this effect) with a friend (was it singular or plural?). I, too entranced to even think of what to do in the situation, said something about me biking home, and how I didn't want to even though i had the wind with me this time. Obviously, both the subject and the delivery could have been improved. Then, as she left, I rhetorically asked what was the point in following her to her bike (Yeah, leave her feeling awkward, after failing to impress her, why don't you?) Though I sulkily bring pencil to paper, at the time I was cloud-happy.
~
Corinne was a study-buddy I met in Humanities, and who would help me, and I her of course, in our 20-series calculus classes. She worked at Disney. This particular entry was written very shortly after the described scene, a fairly common one but one that for some reason touched me to writing of the incident. Though my words are poor compared to the thoughts and feelings I was teeming with, they do justice to the short-lived love I had for a girl who, as I knew, would not return it.

La di da

Sitting in a lab with Urian. U-Rian. I need to figure out how I'm going to deal with what is distracting me. I know what it is, it is the same thing that has motivated me to do so much in supplement to my own personal, simple necessities. But no matter how much I do it won't change that my personality being offensively contrary to what is liked by the distraction. Cello concert went fantastic. School, I feel behind but I do not know if that is entirely correct. Eventually I must learn how to do this blasted computer science lab...