yesterday, a pain in my mouth, more of a sore really, bothered me. I want to write this, so that day does not go done in my memories as one devoid of pain. Like Cesaer at his fall with the slave to tell him to remember 'mortis', I must learn to write of the good, the bad, and the "e-bil''. This pain, one on the inside of my bottom left jaw, one one the right bottom lip inside, and one at the opposite bottom inside lip, bled a little. It reminded me with excrutiating acuity at each huge smile the pain of others. Bazarov and Chekov would be proud of me. I will be cruising. I want to use this cruise not only as a model, experieinceing a new thing and observing my pleasures and displeasures for future reference. I also want to use it as a way to get closer to my dad's side of the family...at least right now that is my intention. Perhaps, even, I will party. More likely and something I expect to do is to workout. If not to get my legs back in shape, then I hope to develop my arms to the shape they never had. i reflect that perhaps the lingo and style of internet slang, of no capitolizing and justifying and so forth is brought on not only by laziness, nor by the variance in certain programming programs in doing things like underlining text, but perhaps in making all the writing seem more
Connected. Like, the beginning of one sentence flows right from the thoughts before, because there is no capitolization or justification to seperate them. Its just a thought. (I like that song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bdai_1LlSA0)
Talking about pain, and a want to be connected, It will be a While before I get to be as close to Paulina as I have been in the recent past. But, I have chased you. You wanted to ride away. I followed, then you hurt me. you are sorry for you. I have begun to make amends to our past-begun to forgive you. I love you. amazing how I seem to be able to type those words faster than the others...yet I am slower to take them back. I love you, and whatever Someday brings (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NwNuQulK6N0), now I have you, and I have contentment. I am connected, but by a bond lighter than chains, stronger than twine, more transparent than water, as difficult to explain as a pink invisible unicorn. You have filled my Śūnyatā, in that now I wish not to pursue it...
but i digress. And I need to pack. o.O
